| Suckas get it |
[May. 28th, 2007|09:39 pm] |
Whats crackin. its been a while.... Shit mang startin over. dealing with the with draws. Brew over 5 figures.... shit boy i betta learn to do it right this time..................... |
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| life just isnt what i expected |
[Jun. 22nd, 2006|01:23 pm] |
Well, Shits all fucked up. POE LEEC been out in frount of my house for 4 or 5 days now. WTF fairness? NONE Guess we just dont look eye to eye. Past few days iv been in miami. maybe this is where i need to be. I usally have a great time well down there. meet right people. Blah but the heat........
I havnt been working, my back is hurting really bad. i dont want to get surgery. but i dont know if theres anything eslse. for me.
Is all this bad?
Well here is my position..... I need to spend alot of time at home. im working on a few things. things that will and can last forever.
I have no problem besides "pain" working... I actully enjoy to work. I get all into it an shit ... lol kinda weird i guess.
So.... my girl, wants to put all the coin for a new place... Do i like it? "shit who was it that said money cant by me love? lol place is dope. ill be keeping it eh.. right around 65 degrees.
kitchen is right. granit counters, stainless streel apliecs. crownmolding. super white carpet.
So im pushed into a new opertunity. WHAT SHOULD I DO???????????????? |
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| ...Last to be asked... |
[May. 6th, 2006|10:59 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | office | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | na speakers are... where are my speakers hmmm | ] |
All i can say is WOW!!!!!! I am like 2 all over again. How do i do it? Iv tryed an failed........
I guess ill jus keep on tryin to fade. |
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| ? |
[May. 5th, 2006|10:09 am] |
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Who knows what to do. My car is fucked, 900 jus to get it back on the road. Never mind get it to a point ill enjoy driving. bout to say fuck it all an get on the grinde. |
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| 6 am |
[Apr. 24th, 2006|06:25 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bed on laptop | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | meditation on sirius adio | ] |
Well today a new day.... Jen and i arnt talkin any longer... Im over that scene, and shes jus gettin started. I feel good about it. I need time to grow an mature myself. She was really cool, but the bad out maned the good. So it be..... Ima smoke a bowl an try an fall asleep, she came over an woke my up over an hour ago.... |
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| its my bday |
[Apr. 22nd, 2006|02:22 pm] |
Well its come agian.........Hope this year brings some ballin. :)
Right now i cant ask for much more except, maybe a sober girlfriend. |
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| wanting |
[Apr. 21st, 2006|03:32 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | na | ] |
Today is is tottally, "the day" Fuck all you haters. You know who you are. I do what u want to, every day. |
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| laying alone |
[Apr. 17th, 2006|04:12 am] |
I got my projecter.............. So yeah nex is new amps in the truck, tommarow? indeed. iv picked out 2 phinix gold amps an caps, and a new 12 inch sub
. Should sound nice.
i need to sleep |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 15th, 2006|06:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bed on laptop | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  in love | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Drum an bass Baby | ] |
Sitting at home laying in bed alone, with a amazing breeze blowing. And the sent of chumpa, blazing upwords. And watching the lcd witch is soon to become? a what? Projecter. I once visited a place....
Well yeah larger then life tv? fun sure when u have over 1500 channels... ppv? HD? every channel there is.
Oh yeah i got a new glass peice "boy is it great"
I feel as if i have found meself after 2 yrs, Of stright madness. I NEED TO SMOKE.
any one know if phenix gold amps are any good? car audio. |
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| Work.... |
[Apr. 13th, 2006|01:01 am] |
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Well today was my first satellite install.... It went well, for the most part. lol i took a few hits off a bong, and got ripped. work slowed down ;/~ lol but it all seems to work... So lets hope tis all works out an i can make some serius coin..... |
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| Trying so hard to love. |
[Apr. 8th, 2006|12:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bed on laptop | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Suckas dont hate me | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Thursday | ] |
I try so hard to act as if... but its not real its just a blinding blur of passion, lust and who knows what else. Alone is where i am to be. I will thrive until i am able to relize what im here for.
Well Friends are falling quiker then ever, They all will hate me for this one, im not locked up nor going to be.
These last years of my life... Hard. Watched. Pain. Fear. jus to name a few. Every one told me, that y life will change once i get off probation. im not going to lie i feel really diffrent. I guess im still a pussy when it comes to riding dirty an shit. but i have seen what it is like not to know what time it is, and if your ever going to actully be able to talk to the person who is the only thing that held me sane, besides over a tele. And not to know if your ever going to be able to hold hands walk. Laff. and just be.
Things are starting to fall apart, im losing my footing, i have this feeling in my gut to really grab on an hold on for i might slip and fall down...............................................................
Today to make things a lil easyer i think im going to stay busy.
Last night was cool, hung out with my best friend, at blue martine. Went over an had a few drink with my boi dave at Pure, Talk some buiness opening a new club. jus outside of downtown 21 an up code....
AND i want some SOUR DIESEL. And no i wont fuckin share....................
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC |
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| life is good right now |
[Apr. 1st, 2006|09:19 pm] |
Every thing seems to going well right now. Work is going good, Theres a lot of it but. its comeing to an end so im going to be looking for somthing for the summer time. wether it here or in another place. Right now im not totally ready to leave. i am building an empier, and its looking right. projector is going in the bedroom very soon. new lcd probly ganna move to the bathroom. Probation is over and its not much diffrent. My way of life is almost the same. besides i feel so much happyer. its almsot like being a new person. its kinda wierd. i dont understand how a person can feel and act one way, just becouse there always being watched.....I dont know... what i do know is i finished. The right way..................
Well my time is up. i have to drive back down to the breakers... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 20th, 2006|10:33 am] |
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Things are not as they should be or could be. Well today is wack i feel like im crazzy. depressed. fedup. losing my mind. i Didnt goto work today witch is really bad its like a 300 dollor fine i have to pay. But most of all im just confused about what to do. Iv had to start over so many times. and start from nothing. Each time it getts better and better, except its geting so hard. Its like my mind says give up but my body keeps going. how long will this last? Can this last? One day is mind and body going to give up? To me that is delth. |
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| Things to think about,,,, |
[Mar. 13th, 2006|10:57 pm] |
The last two days have been hard. Very hard, confused, endless poundering. Do i leave and never come back? Do i just take a vacation fromit all. Doi leave every thing iv worked so hard for. my job. my hosting company. MY LIFE............................................................................
Iv started over so many times an have lost every thing numerus times. And i kick getin back up an doing.
Im so unsure about every thing. I lay in bed an have tears just flow outa my eyes for no apparent reason. other then i cant sleep, nor think of just nothing. my brain moves 500 mph all the time. i just want to slow down, and take my time. and have time......
:Tillmand: |
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| Who knows |
[Mar. 12th, 2006|04:10 am] |
Tonight was great. i got to chill with the ol crew. my fam, made me really happy. Work is slowing down, an im now able to get sleep, but my sleeping habbits are fucked i sleep 2 to 4 hours a night.
Weird things iv been reading others post on live journal, and tonight..... first time in about 2 years i cryed.... like llike wining an shit but shed a few...
FUCKING WAK i dont understand....................................................................................................
only like 12 more days till im free of the ball and chain. |
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| Giving up |
[Mar. 2nd, 2006|01:55 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | im designing a website | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | limp bis | ] |
Im done for a while. im hurt, tired, and just fuckin over life for now. dont expect to see hear, or even talk to me. fuck this world. well no fuck florida. Im ganna come back 50 feet tall and untouchable.
March 25 is creaping closer an closer. and iv never been so ready for this change. I will carry my friends along for the ride of a life time. But think again if your on the list........ |
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| Its a Beautiful Day |
[Feb. 21st, 2006|11:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | watching mtv | ] |
Is it really? Well its night time now. And im feeling great. I went out an got some new toys... :)
tomarrow is a long day at work. But every day is just a steping stone to gettin where i want to be. Im saving alot of coin. i can just about go any where i want in march. things are great right now. I hope they keep on going smooth. And the hard part is falling in love again. knowing thats i am leaving and they dont know. OWE well it feels good. IM a selfish person and it feels great. i get what i want an play hard as fuck. Its A Beautiful Day |
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| Tunt |
[Feb. 17th, 2006|01:45 am] |
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Well today... lol no sleep lots of work. hurt my leg want to die? Well today i was hoping to run arround an pay bills an get some sleep instead i gotto work almost al day never mind i started 8 am the day befor. an then came home passed out for 3 hours an woke up ina daze. now im back home having to wait to goto work ina few hours becouse i cant sleep. my internal time clock is fucked yo.... |
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| Beter to have loved an lost then to have never loved at all....? right? |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|09:43 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | busy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Love at fritz "Paul Van Dyk" | ] |
Well life gos on and i will too, thank god for work. even if it seems to make me crazy. I think it keeps me sane. Probation is almost up an im am ready to experience. the world all over again. Chances i have taken chances an been open minded, enen have changed views for others. FUCK IT. Its my way or the highway from now on. I am the fuckin shit an i dont need to bend for no one. Ill do what i want an say what i want. It hurts? GOOD it is supposed to. Its not my fualt you all made me like this.
Tillmand
aka. KEEPING IT REAL. |
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| feeling of downness |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|12:08 am] |
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Feelings of abandonment, alone. The life i live i hate. I wish it apone no one but the worse. Im alone, scared. And most of all down right dangerus. I listen to no one. Care for only one person who dosnt care back. And need somthing new in my life. I dont know what but, somthing blue? Any thing to just put a smile on my face. this year 2006? will it be the same as 2005. Please to a power greater then myself HELP ME. I ask myself questions now... Do i want to be happy? Do i deserve to be happy. What will make me happy? Is there such thing as happy? And the ansew is YES. I just need to find it.... By feb i need to pay off about 2900 in bills. Then basicly start from the begingin all over again. this is hard for me an is gettin harder every time. Am i a weak person? i dont know i just wish i actully knew somthing solid. I want to see a doctor about my feelings. I need to see someone about them. I cant agnore them any more. I will kill my self. or is this all becouse iv only selpt 6 hours in 3 days an nonstop work....................................................IM out fuck you. |
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